dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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