I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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