You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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