Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
