mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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