As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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