Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
