just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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