omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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