Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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