Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
