FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
