I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize