She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Alive.
So much puke
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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