I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
