...so i touched it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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