I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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