so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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