You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's just like the Real World with babies
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
