He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
