dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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