dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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