Only a mothe r could love this liver
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
