well you can't waste a boner
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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