Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize