Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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