You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
