Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
