At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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