Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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