You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
