Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
