There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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