i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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