It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
