Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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