oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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