I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
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