I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
