This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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