why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
