i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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