His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
