Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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