In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
