It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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