Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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