Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
