Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can text with my tongue
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW