I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.