I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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