why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
