I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize