my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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