Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
