eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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