It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
