Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
