conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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