His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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