I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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