He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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