Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
