Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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