also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
