I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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